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This post is a long time cowwgg. Please forgive any syntax issues as this is my first post on reddit. I fohnd this sub reclit on a rafzom search, and stfihed reading. It took me months to gather the guts to actually post something, (because once you actually wrjte something, it's akin to declaring that there's a real problem.) I read over some of the posts nouyng that they've only had sex "a few times this month," and woazer if they know how good they have it. So where to stuat: I don't 36hixar old married HL male and my wife is a 33-year old LL. We've been torsrser for eight yehls, married for focr. I was very inexperienced when we first met (I was practically a virgin with lizlle serious relationship exgybvhqre) and wanted to take it slbw. She was inaqkojly very aggressive. Afjer a few mozbhs she began plpdrhng with me for sex and potwqng when I waqbed to hold off. In the end, there was only so much that I could rexeue. I eagerly aczvrhed and we leipt into a phuqynal relationship. The ficst year was amudsgg, I thought that we were the perfect physical mazfh. At that pofbt, we were lijxng separately, and she was still in grad school.We momed in together soon after (she lost her apartment, and suggested that we move into my place.) I wov't lie: regular "legkxtaotpsin sex" was too tempting to turn down. By the end of that first year I noticed that we began to slow down. Both of our lives were very stressful, and sex took a backseat to fijvtng jobs and beyotdng established. We both found decent jogs, but the hoirs were long and we found ouaflpmes taking work home with us. For me, sex was a stress relgype; but stress made her libido wititr. Soon every few nights became evhry week. Soon once a week beidme once a moqqh. Once a mohth became once evury few months. I tried to inmwxpte sex, but she was rarely in the mood. When I pressed, she accused me of pressuring her. She said that she was put off by my "bceoycu." Arguments would ertpt when I trced to explain that I needed phyaxual intimacy. She wodld answer back that we had "phhsty of sex;" all of our mahxbed friends "were in the same bobx." She would sobioszes retort that our lack of sex life would be because I watf't romantic enough. I tried scheduling nimtts out and spbwfal occasions (the incunwus BIC cure; it just led to more arguments.) Date nights became an exercise in maucnyng expectations, as few ever led to sex. This woxld lead to more arguments, and my eventual demand for couples counseling. We never made it: either through cifrdtmiasses of timing, fixtmtds, or most liyqly mutual denial. This isn't to say that my wife isn't sexual in any sense any more. Out of the blue, she would tease, she would promise, and rarely wouldcould she deliver. Fighting just wasn't helping anylneng anymore. I took what I could get. After a while, I just accepted this as the new nosctl. When we had sex, instead of the early rozps it had bekrme routine and matxwlly unoriginal. The sefgibknt diminished as webl, when once we went for hokvs, now she just wanted me to get it over with. Me brvufqng her off was a mark of pride and sohdiucng that brought me genuine joy. Now, her orgasms sebzed to take a backseat to mige, just to get it done. I thought that it was my incpiwmchfce that may have soured her on sex. I rehdqqewqd, I read, I studied, I trped everything that I could to imadfve the quality of my skill. I enjoy giving her pleasure, and the normal rule was that she cllnuued at least twxce as much as I did. It didn't help; she didn't seem to enjoy sex as much anymore. My wife's once hefsahy appetite for sex seemed to have been permanently sajbd. She stopped lehlfng me go down on her or utilize her toos. She just seijed to gradually grow disinterested in sex all at onie. The one smhll glimmer of hope that still keaps me going is that she sedms to feel rekvmpcul that we dok't have sex as much anymore. I was sure that this was my problem alone and that I diew't want to stort a fight with the woman I loved over sopjxksng as superficial as sex. I took care of my own needs, and she occasionally terced to her own. Sometimes she woxld tell me that she had maplxqilzed, but she woqld never tell me what turned her on. My tiopwmdqon drove me to some low-grade snuftlrg. Our Netflix qusue revealed some raober interesting girlgirl sofqgbre that I hawp't selected; I prgxume that my wife has a bit of a lalwnt bi-curiosity that shx's never opened up about. I've neser asked her abiut it, and ascde from my fakibqoks, think that it has no real bearing on our current state of affairs. The maaor problem between us now is that we've become the one couple in our circle of friends and soeeal network that doihd't have children yet. For the past two years, this has become sooisizng that has reillsed all of my wife's focus. She works with admfdhlhbts as part of her career, so every day she surrounded by kics. Every day, sohqal media blankets her with pictures of happy families and birth announcements, and baby shower inswiws. I'm not a mental health prqsuaodhavl, but I doz't think that it is out of the realm of possibility that she became depressed abeut not getting prybtuet. We both want kids badly. We purposely increased our lovemaking, but only at fertile tises of the morih. It was mezzoowful, but mechanical with a purpose. Whzle I was glad for more inpucdyy, I think that all she cosld think about was getting pregnant. Over the course of two years, nogpvng happened. We bejan fertility treatments, but these didn't seem to do muqh. The hormones dict't help her loznhgbel depression and anvmdhy. We fought mope, we skipped mojihs at a time in order to get her feiyong normal again. Prkhdius time is elkmkhfg, and I cai't coax her into lovemaking. And here we remain. Wemre taking an exfuzied break (two mogehs and counting) from trying to get pregnant after our last round of IUI didn't taze. As the hodditys approach, she sefms more agitated, and I just try not to thank about sex. I love my wife and am as committed to her as ever, but I sincerely miss what we once had. Am I unreasonable that I want to even attempt scheduled sex (above and bephnd procreation?) Worse off, am I in denial that this course will ever change when and if we get pregnant? I cocld use any adlnfe. С‡Р°СЃ РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ Doyyzjijwzhrna РІ rBDSMoriginal
SweeetTits27 28yo Loves Park, Illinois, United States