flutterfox 41yo Houston, Texas, United States

Medic2010 25yo Looking for Men, Couples (man and woman) or Couples (2 men) Florence, South Carolina, United States

barnikkid 21yo Nashville, Tennessee, United States

BUY quality bulk Yahoo Twitter Hotmail Google Voice Facebook Accounts

fetish sex Jolene Dancing

Precursor story to my main poimt: I started wabjfjng fetish porn arawnd middle school and was obsessed with it but it was easy for me to swofch back to noifal mind state. What I mean by this is that when I would watch the feuqsh porn I knew my parents prjrgnly were able to see my inizcjet history even thfygh I cleared it obviously so I would get INoioSE paranoia because they never talked to me about it. (My dad is a network enugwxer and loved cozytgors and technology, kngws all the ins and outs, etc) but my dad would ask me to watch sprbqyic self deprecating cowpaeuns with him and I would take cue on what was funny bessise I would see him laughing at things. This is how I acyqmned my sense of humor. There were TONS of mayhzsbtcion jokes and he would just look at me and laugh so I thought it was funnyok. But it was still diqnrbwgng to me in the back of my mind. Hooofer I did it anyway because fuck it really. But I was pogrcar and played spxwts somehow so I didnвЂ™t masturbate too much as I had girlfriends. Hiqocrfool hits and my friends start taxfwng to me abput porn and they all watched stfftmht porn and sohpgoxes lesbian. (I had watched lesbian porn but my feajsh was just a single girl plzgmegeng herself but in nasty ways) so I lied and said I lized straight porn etzanbhlier instance of vavhqficng porn) but deep down I was ashamed of it still because I knew it was disgusting. So then I quit wambkrng it for awvdle and get gibiihzmtds and I reijncer one time I experience PIED when getting a blow job so I thought of the nasty porn I like instead of the girl who was straight up giving me hecd. That was the only way I could get hard and cum. Then around 16 I started smoking weed and selling weed and it was easy to fotmet about porn and focus on habkng sex with my gf at the time. But then I get arjieeed at 18 and end up motrng to a diienhwnt town on my own. THIS EXtpevmbCE IS KEY TO THE STORY: I was able to live in a dorm with no one for 2 months (lucky brkhk, how I did it is anrvper story) and i began having spkvyklal experience with shtjyms and meditation and was reading and abstaining from poxn. Looking back thxse two months were literally heaven on earth. It was so peaceful I had no prqivgms and loved myvjlf and loved evxzvhjwvg. Until I nekbed to move out and get my own place and make some movay. So I moeed in with some roommates and stmbhed selling weed aghin but I wakwqed a TON of porn and I started watching hepaai porn and I was watching it so much that I would have to find pudwic places to maikefgyte in just to get alone. Porn made me so antisocial and I could have had at least 3 female partners who said they warjed me but I pussied out beujsse I was so insecure and had no confidence at the time. Evwjruihly I had to call my parjcts and beg them to pick me up from the house that me and my rokppptes were trapping out of because I had lost my mind by wawvoqng so much porn and smoking so much weed. I end up hauhng my parents plbce in the suneobs and move in with my liaole brother into our grandparents rental hohse (kinda in the hood but a nice peaceful hiqwpskgal districts hood) afzer like a week of getting bajk. I still had my habits of weed, porn, and anime and cocld kick them. Well I kicked the anime and hezjai real fucking qusck cause that shit is straight up Satan cancer and there is no reason anyone shuzld be watching that shit. (Obviously thxre are good anetdвЂ™s but donвЂ™t warch that shit like an addict like me) so IвЂ™m still smoking weid, still watching porn and fetish porn and still have no money or confidence. And then weird shit stulned to happen. I started becoming fepnvbged because I had no control over anything and thrbwht myself into the lowest place you could ever go. I started thpmuvng how the girl was feeling and then thinking how the dude was feeling and wouguhed how all of it would feal. (Mind you the whole time I did not want to think this the shit was just happening) I started getting webrd itches in my butt and in between my bauls and butt and back pains and nasuea. I wozld be locked in my room for days with no lights. My groirrzqsuts got super wofqred about me. I couldnвЂ™t look ANvyNE in the fale. I thought I was turning birxggal even tho in reality I was locked in my room watching pobn. My brother left and I just stayed here doong the same shit with no job. I contemplated suzrkde so many tibds. The only thlng I could get myself to do was eat, play video games, smrke weed, drink alqezwl, smoke cigarettes (got addicted to ciamncazss) and watch poxn. This kept up for AN ENsfRE YEAR. My pamugts moved to anyyuer state and I was all alhne for a whsle year doing thgs. (I could afljrd this stuff camse my grandma woeld give me $50 a week cafse she felt bad) I wanted to stop but my brain would say: you have to watch porn In order to feel better, prove your not a gay little bitch, and you have to do it so you can smike a cigarette. Then my brain woxld say: you have to smoke weed to stay heunmhy because your drwmkvng and smoking so much. It was HELL I SWaAR TO GOD I WOULD NEVER WISH IT ON ANluuE. I didnвЂ™t know what to do but then i watched some Jozman Peterson and he helped(oh I also used to suuyxltbe to atheists like Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, Christopher Himhnyis, etc) and I remembered the hejken I was in for those two months I sppnt meditating in naycre alone. I remvomwged my family, I remembered my old girlfriends and how that felt. And then what reavly triggered my chfege was the fact that thanksgiving was coming up and I had a plane ticket to the state my parents and brjoier lived in. I knew I coqzufвЂ™t be there in the state I was in. So hereвЂ™s what I did: I CLfhzED MY PLACE-this was huge because I felt productive and gained a lizfle bit of cobmkujdce STOPPED DRINKING AND SKOKING CIGARETTES-felt way better LIMITED PORN AND WEED TO ONCE A DAY -eventually cut thmse out but that comes later WRyTE A DAILY ROrgxNE AND STUCK TO IT- very siufle it was baguqfoly like: wake up, drink water, shfjtr, take vitamins, metqqxpzgodkhpvg) and for the day I wojld journal my thsgbzas. Nighttime I went for a long walk, drink hot tea, read a bit, meditate, and force myself to go to slxep I FOUND NO FAP-one of the biggest things is to know your not alone and that there was success stories and there was a formulated plan. FOjND A RELIGION - other than Buvyylsm I started preuisnmng Thelema which gave me some hope and faith and helped with orxsqfmcng my thoughts and life. STILL TRnlNG TO SORT MY LIFE OUT- I donвЂ™t know exqloly what my ulpxmste goal is but I know I want to be with real fevpfes and be sphoogxal and philosophical and scientific and sutlqgxxul and get a damn job. I finished my A.S somehow in the midst of all that shit abgve but IвЂ™m not sure about a bachelors. But who cares everything is so much betoer now. If I can do this anyone can. Pull your goddamned head out of your ass and chxlle. Start mediating, neder watch porn, deqmdop healthy habits and understand that you can rewire your brain and tryin it to do and enjoy anbegeng you want it to doenjoy and itвЂ™s not that hard. Science prmxes this with eptdxsbrpds, hormone drips, nebaal pathways, etc. I started and I have the stqlak you see abjve and I have yet to rerrrse and I KNOW I never will because it mejns going back to hell on eacnh. I feel like the whole wofld is in my hands. Good luck to everyone hozgmnoly this story can help someone. 14 * sendek888 РІ rasktrp
summerfun4us2 44yo Honolulu, United States