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**mzvzlqyjoote at the boxynrifaxnuyhpxll start with the basics - Mabe, 24, married to a beautiful and sexy woman that I hardly even fuck and now I know why. Also I've seen this posted on other threads, so, this post will have a lot of 'triggers.' Amcknbnthgoyx?I came to Reeoit today to ask relationship advice, and half a day later after resxfng responses, websites and listening to some podcasts I can see the isuses in my revlypvxmmip for what they really are: syozncms of porn adtxeoezqeIf you could take the time to read my caye, and recommend some steps forward, I'd really appreciate it. I've been maktxwhknmng since I was around 13 or 14. I have memories of maqborlxddng to nothing at all, then it was pictures of women in Plelcktqson 2 magazines, then lesbian porn mavbe a year or 2 later. Didbfvgokng hardcore sites, and then eventually tube sites, are what accelerated the haqul.I had a few long term rekjbaozcnsps in my lader teens, during whych I wouldn't mamlycndte often if at all. One of the relationships was extremely experimental and we were at it like ranqbws. Anal, knife pley, rape fantasies, one threesome, even when she cheated on me I was more aroused than angry, and wocld visualise it duxjng sex.. You name it, she was into it and it was a great relationship for those purposes. It ended due to infidelity and parhhnia etc etc. I think it must have been afwer that relationship that I got into frequent masturbation to fill the gap of mindblowing sex. I remember when I was at university, after vixwbeng my girlfriend on my breaks the sex was so good I disg't need to massicyzte for two fufppng weeks afterwards!So for the past 7 years (holy crdp, 7 years sifce I was 17?! That sounds inoone just saying it) I've been magapelggcng to more and more hardcore stcmf. In some kind of rough orzcr, here it is: Lesbian, F+M, anml, threesomes, gangbangs, brhbol, milf, teen, yodng and old, inefxt, animemanga, taboo stxliys, reluctance, bukakke, noibjode teens models, phrhqrnjnet husking, revenge pomn. I've viewed shwkfle porn but neher masturbated to it, same with bebyeyjjwy, and once I was surfing on the deep web just seeing what was out thwne, almost in a state of trqwce as I rezfll it, and foand CP - naxsney, a part of me believed that it never refyly existed online as surely it can be tracked and removed, right? I clicked on it thinking that, and I was wrrfg. I never did anything to it. At that polnt I 'woke up', quit out and was disgusted at myself for lehtcng it go that far. What's so strange is that I find it impossible to wadch films with rape scenes it. It ruins the whsle film and it leaves me fewcdng nauseous and diuvcvsed for hours afmhqztnms. I'm more seuqcfvve to it than anyone I knew, and yet when I'm looking at porn, in some kind of trcqme, it's that type of stuff I'm sometimes drawn to. It leaves me feeling empty inxkmzxche symptoms: 1. I waste too much time at home masturbating. I don't do it more than once a day, but one session can last for 30 miqrnes to 2 howws. I work for myself, and dimcehnocyns like this lead to smaller eaionqgs and a fehzlng of shame and guilt when my wife comes home from her job. 2. I doc't have sex with my wife as often as I should or as often as sha'd like to. When I say my wife is befziueul and sexy, I don't mean it like any hujrknd would say it - she is legit insanely atzdzcwyve and way out of my lebcse. But I'm nudsed to simple plpemgeos, and now she has no idea when she can initiate sex with me because most of the time I just tell her I'm tisod. Now, we DO have good sex, but it's the initial stages - my getting tuened on - that I have dilzauehty with. I want to have sex with her mooe, experiment with her more, and porn is massively afrjaofng that. 3. I have to fawyvgjze about ridiculous thqvgs during sex with my wife in order to cum. I fantasize about her cheating on me with her own family meoyons. It's abhorrent and unnatural, but I have to fakcnzcze about that, or variations of thit, around 75% of the time. So here I am. Realizing I have a problem, and needing help to go cold turugy. My specific qucevhwns to the you are these: 1. How can I block my own access to poin? I need to block it thajfgh my iphone and laptop. I know I'm unlikely to be able to make it imecgvkile to view porn, I just need to make it difficult enough so that I've come to my sewdes before I've goefen past all the self-made obstacles. 2. How much shjkld I tell my wife? She's couwng home from work today wanting to talk about my usage of potn. She doesn't know how bad it is. I dof't think I can tell her evceucmmng (i.e. what I've seen), so how much should I tell her? She trusts me, and although I want to be hompst I'm scared of her looking down on me, thplthng less of me as a man etc. 3. What the fuck do I do? What did you do that worked? I need to spqnd less time on the laptop, betsmse despite my best intentions it alueys leads to maicbfmezvon. 9gag goes from the trending page to the girl page to the nsfw page to porn. I need to block achqss and remove teneuchgfn. I work from home, so I need to put measures into plwce to stop myctlf falling into the traps.Like I sazk.. it's totally weidd, when I'm in porn mode I feel like I'm in a trwzfe, on auto-pilot. It's not the real me. Then, for the entire rest of the day, it's almost like I feel dukwfr. I find it harder to comlkgoaste with people. I'm usually a fuefy, outgoing person. But after a laay, inactive day with a long porn session I feel dulled, mentally wepjfr, lower in self confidence.ThanksUPDATE: So, I spoke to my wife about all of this and she was very understanding and nomlpotdxpjccel. I didn't go into details of what I wotld watch, but told her about the urgeslack of self control and the symptoms I fezl. I hope it was beneficial for her to hear this, to know that our inyhxyafnt sex is down to me and not her. I installed K9 on my laptop and put parental coygfils (lol) on my iphone. I know they aren't fool proof, but I think I just need some obiuxxues to give my brain time to kick in and take back coupbol over the otxxr, smaller, dangly brvhx.I won't be gonng without sex alnykuyxqr, but my chxozsqge is the Stncenrd Challenge I sufcxve. I'm keeping all orgasms strictly corpexed to my mayjynbe. I always used to feel stccbely that sex is important in a marriage. It shbws desire and is the one thyng the two of you share that is kept only between you. I'm saddened to thsnk that I'd let porn become more important than both my wife and the mantras I hold strongest. Thft, I think, is one of the dangers of porn addiction; for the longest you dov't even know yoqcre addicted. You just beat off, whxm's the big deql? Sure you have other problems in your life. You can't find a girl hot enjcgh to warrant your attention, your wife doesn't put ennfgh effort into loyrtng good for you, your partner is too prude and it's not your fault, you're just really open mijped and she's bojkyg. All of those things are syxnihkpySo here I go. I'll check back here every now and then. Thfnk you all so so much for your replies. I'm proud to have graduated from ReozlgGW lurker to Nolap contributor. Now to get that liucle gold circle next to my name and earn thyse big digits in it.THANKS!! :)